What does this word mean to you? How does this word make you feel?
Autumn is here, I always think of change when we come into this season. We see so many changes around us. The leaves on the trees changing colour and starting to shed. The big coat and snugly jumpers come back out as well as the candles and fluffy blankets as the temperatures start to change. (Although the fluffy blanket never actually goes away because I do like to snuggle up).
Change can feel so scary, sometimes terrifying. It’s the fear of the unknown.
Since birth, you’ve gone through many changes, changes that you probably won’t have thought much about. You grew, you learned to crawl, walk, talk. Most of you went to school, primary school, then high school.
Then there will be those changes that you may have already made for a better life, changes that you got to choose. Maybe you went to college or university. Maybe you have changed jobs, moved house, travelled, learned to drive, met a partner, changed your partner.
Sometimes change happens that we have no control over. Changes that we HAVE to adjust to, such as getting older, death.
Think of something that you want to change now. A change that you really want, but the fear, those doubts, that niggle is holding you back. It could be moving house, changing jobs, getting fitter and healthier, anything. Ask yourself “what is stopping me?”
Are these reasons ‘what if’s!’ “What if I move and the neighbours are a nightmare?” “What if I go for a job interview and say something really daft?”
If it is a real problem that is holding you back what’s the worst that can happen if you did make that change? Is there anything you do about it?
Your brain will automatically jump to the negative reasons not to make that change, it will look for a reason not to do it if it makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable or not safe. But what will happen if you start to quieten those fears, the doubts, the worries, the niggles?
It can be done. It takes practice and perseverance, but you can shift that mindset. Start with this little exercise. Every time those negatives and worries try to creep back in (and they will), you’re going to tell them “thank you, but not right”. You acknowledge that you’ve heard them, but they don’t need to stay around. “I don’t need those negative thoughts right now”.
Now you are going to welcome in the feelings you would have if your change has actually happened and you are living your best life. You’ve made that choice to make that change. All those feelings of dread, the “what ifs” are gone because you have made that change and it couldn’t have gone any better. Focus on these feelings. Pride. Gratitude. The happiest version of you.
Breathe into these feelings, these emotions. Imagine it, see it, feel it.
It is just as easy to think of the positive feelings as it is to think of the negatives. It’s just that we have programmed our minds, trained our thoughts to go for the negative. Because it’s easier, it usually feels safer. But in the end that can also restricts us, it stops us and often makes us miserable.
So now it’s time to re-train your thoughts and that starts by saying “no thank you, not right now”. Every time a negative thought appears, “no thank you, not right now”.
As we change, we learn
As we change, we develop
As we change, we grow
As we change, we get stronger and stronger
As we change, we become that person we wanted to be.
Change is exciting.
Change is starting a new chapter in our lives.
Don’t let the fear of change hold you back.
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